Wednesday, October 28, 2009

Patrick is no longer suffering

Last night, Patrick's vet came by to put an end to his suffering. It was quick and I hope it was painless. We tried everything we could to help him over the last month, but it wasn't enough. It would have been cruel to allow him to suffer for our own selfish reasons.

It's very quiet here now. No more sock moving at night. No more 4am wake up calls for breakfast. No more licks on the nose and face. No more poop on the floor. I've lost my little boy and my loyal friend. It feels like someone has punched me in the stomach. I know things will get better, but it will take time.

Monday, October 26, 2009

Patrick is calm

We have spent most of the day sitting with Patrick. Actually, he came out this morning and sat near us. He napped in the sun and stretched out near us. He still isn’t eating, but I am glad he didn’t spend the day in the dark closet. Gato and Stanley spent some time with us as well. He seemed to perk up after he received the sub-q fluids this morning. We also cleaned him up so he wasn’t wet. I am sure that made him feel a little better.

We called our new vet earlier today and she will be coming by the house tomorrow evening. I’m having a hard time keeping my emotions under control, but I’m trying not to appear upset when I’m near Patrick. He seems calm today and I do not want to disturb him. I want his final days to be as quiet and peaceful as possible.

Patrick is hiding

Patrick has moved to a closet and he is hiding in a dark corner. He hasn't been hiding like this in over a week. The poor boy hasn't had anything to eat on his own in about three days. Over the weekend I felt he was about to make a turn, but I didn't expect it to be in this direction.

Sunday, October 25, 2009

Patrick is resting

Patrick is downstairs, sleeping near me as I write this. He had a big day with family staying with us over the weekend. Patrick spent most of his day on a heating pad, with Gato nearby. Unfortunately, he hasn’t had much to eat today. He didn’t sleep with us last night and I bet he would stay downstairs tonight if I were to let him. I’ll probably have to carry him back upstairs to bed tonight.

Earlier in the week, Patrick began peeing where he sat. We thought he was getting weak and losing control of his bladder. Our home vet determined it was a bladder infection and prescribed antibiotics. After a couple days on the antibiotics, Patrick stopped having accidents. We wonder if the medicine is upsetting his stomach and keeping him from eating.

I am disappointed the prescription that the animal pharmacy provided was bubblegum flavored liquids for the antibiotics. I can’t believe there isn’t some other cat friendly flavor. Patrick takes the twice a day dose better than we expected. In fact, he has been the best patient for his daily sub-q fluids. He stays on his side without putting up much of a fight. The boy even kissed me on the nose a couple times while we held him still. So much for the “Caution” warning, he came with.

Gato and Stanley have been very kind to Patrick lately. No one has tried to take advantage of his weakness. I'm very proud of them. I don't think the three cats have ever spent this much time sitting near each other without fighting. Until last night, they had even been sleeping near each other in bed. I don't think has ever happened before. They are certainly watching over their big brother.

Tuesday, October 20, 2009

Patrick is still with us.

Our vet just left, but we did not go through as planned. Once the time came, we just could not agree on the decision. One of us wasn’t ready and this has to be a decision we all agree on. We will take a week to see how Patrick does. He has been giving us mixed signals since Sunday. On one hand, he has lost control of his bladder and he is very wobbly on his feet. On the other hand, he seems much more alert and his appetite has greatly improved. He's spent the last two nights sleeping in bed with us. Patrick is also trying to clean himself, which we haven’t seen him do in a long time.

The vet didn’t think he was in pain and said it wouldn’t be wrong to wait a little longer. She also made it clear that we need to be realistic and not expect a miracle. We will continue with his IV and medication. He will be confined to the bedroom, so he doesn't fall down the stairs. We are also going to get a urine sample, to see if he has an infection that is causing his incontinence. I hope we haven’t made a selfish decision that will cause him to suffer later. I am very confused right now and emotionally drained.

Monday, October 19, 2009

My dear Patrick

Today we made one of the hardest decisions we've had to make in a long time, the decision to help Patrick cross the Rainbow Bridge. He is still here with us, but he has told us in his own way, that it is the right time. Our new vet will be making a house call to see him tomorrow morning.

He may have had another stroke on Sunday. We awoke to find him missing again, only this time he wasn’t waiting for breakfast. He was hiding under some furniture, near one of his old favorite napping spots. He can barely walk lately, but all of a sudden, he now has an urge to get into bed with us. He spent last night in bed. That was the first time he has done that in over a month. It gives me false hope for something I know in my heart will not happen. He is not going to return to be the big, alpha cat that has lived with us for the last nine years. I have to accept it.

I have to continue to remind myself that he needs us to do what is best for him. I have become very selfish and want to keep him around for as long as I can, but I know he isn’t happy. He is a strong cat and I want him to keep his dignity. It is my responsibility to make sure he doesn’t lose it. If nothing else, I owe him that.

I love you so much Patrick. I hope that I am not a coward tomorrow.

Wednesday, October 14, 2009

Patrick is diagnosed with Anemia

Our regular vet diagnosed Patrick with Anemia last week. It is a direct result of his CRF and unfortunately, common for cats with his condition. The anemia has caused him to lose his appetite and become lethargic. The vet suggested we give Patrick a supplement called Pet-Tinic to help with the anemia. We can mix the liquid in with his food. We’ve been giving him the Pet-Tinic for a few days and it appears to be helping him, at least with a little extra energy.

Until yesterday, he spent the last four days upstairs and didn’t come down for breakfast. We have been spoon-feeding him several times a day. He will not eat unless you put the food right in his face. We awoke to a surprise yesterday and found Patrick wasn’t in his bed. He was waiting for us downstairs in the kitchen, in his normal feeding area. Although he didn’t eat, it was good to see that he finally got himself out of bed and downstairs on his own. Now we just want to see him eat on his own again.

Wednesday, October 7, 2009

Patrick smells a little better now

Patrick went to the vet yesterday to get cleaned up. He was a little dirty and starting to smell bad. He just hasn't been able to clean himself in a while. Patrick is still having a problem using the litter pan, and has been leaving a mess everywhere he sits. Now that our buddy has been cleaned up, we need to wipe him a couple times a day to keep him clean. It's not a pretty sight, but I'd do anything for my Patrick. I hope this is making him more comfortable.

Saturday, October 3, 2009

Patrick is out and about

A mobile vet stopped by this week, to check on Patrick. He has been doing better ever since. Patrick's appetite has increased and he didn’t sleep in the closet last night. WHISKAS® PURRFECTLY™ Fish and plain yogurt are his current favorites. It is still a little hard for him to walk. The stroke has taken away his balance. I hope that he’ll start getting some strength back in his hind legs. We have increased the sub-q fluids, so he’s getting it every 12 hours now. The vet is coming back out today for a second look. The biggest concern right now is that he hasn’t pooped in a few days. That is obviously painful and he is making unsuccessful attempts as using the litter pan. Overall, we’re very happy with the progress Patrick is making, although he still has a long way to go.

While Patrick has been recuperating, Stanley and Gato have become closer. Gato can tell Patrick is sick, and she has been keeping watch over him. I just think Gato can tell that Patrick isn’t ready to cuddle full-time yet, so she’s picking up the slack with Stanley. They’ve been spending a lot of time together. Gato needs a cuddle-buddy.